Stairway to Heaven (and Hell, and Backrooms): A Deep Dive into Steps, Both Real and Imagined
Stairs. We use them daily. Most of the time we overlook them. Yet, they hide fascinating facts and myths. Prepare to explore staircases. From architecture to video game glitches and even the Backrooms.
Escherian Stairwell: Physics? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Physics!
Have you seen a staircase that loops back on itself? It defies gravity. That’s the “Escherian Stairwell.” Named for M.C. Escher, it bends your mind and sparks questions about reality.
Before you rush to Rochester Institute of Technology, hold on. The Escherian Stairwell at RIT is a hoax. It was created by graduate student Michael Lacanilao. Sometimes intriguing staircases exist only in our imaginations or digital art.
Landing on Your Feet: Staircase Terminology 101
Let’s ground ourselves with real-world stair talk. Ever wondered what the flat bits at the top and bottom of a staircase are called? They are called landings. Think of them as chill-out zones. Landings matter for several reasons:
- Resting Place: Landings offer a welcome breather spot. Stairs feel like vertical hikes.
- Direction Change: Landings aid in turns. They make navigation easier.
- Transition Zone: Landings connect floors. They are the handshake between building levels.
There is more to stair vocabulary. Let’s climb higher and learn other key terms:
- Tread: The horizontal surface you step on.
- Riser: The vertical part between treads that gives height.
- Newel Post: Decorative posts at the staircase’s start and end.
- Balustrade: The railing system that prevents falls.
- Banister: Simply, the handrail you grasp during stair travel.
The Endless Stair of Moria: One Does Not Simply Walk Up… Forever
Diving into fantasy, we find The Endless Stair of Moria. Created by Dwarves, this stairway spirals skyward, a feat of engineering and a nightmare for quick trips.
Solving the Unsolvable: Navigating Endless Staircases (In Games and Beyond?)
Facing an endless staircase, either in real life or in a cruel video game? Don’t worry. There are ways to cheat the system:
- Backwards Long Jump (BLJ) in Super Mario 64: This glitch lets Mario build insane backwards momentum. Tapping jump quickly after a long jump makes him zoom backwards at ludicrous speeds, often bypassing walls.
- Walking Backwards to Avoid Eldritch Entities: In some situations, walking backwards could help. If something can’t see your face, it can’t chase you. Maybe it’s a solid plan—if the entity doesn’t have eyes behind its head.
Joker Stairs: Dance Your Troubles Away (But Maybe Watch Your Step)
Next, let’s discover the Joker Stairs. These iconic steps from “Joker” are real. They are located in the Bronx, connecting Anderson and Shakespeare Avenues. They offer a steep climb and a photo op for fans.
The Loretto Chapel Staircase: A Miracle of Engineering (or Divine Intervention?)
The Loretto Chapel Staircase in Santa Fe is astonishing. It features 33 steps that spiral 20 feet high, making two full turns. It has no nails or glue, held together somehow.
This staircase’s construction baffles experts today. Replicating it is deemed “virtually impossible.” Some whisper of divine help, perhaps from Saint Joseph. The Loretto Chapel Staircase remains a marvel of ingenuity and faith.
Impossible Staircases: Mind Games in 2D
Now let’s explore optical illusions, namely the Penrose Stairs. This classic design represents an impossible staircase that endlessly loops in a way that wouldn’t exist in reality.
These illusions trick your brain into interpreting 2D as 3D. Artists manipulate perspective and lines to create stairs that seem plausible but are paradoxical.
The Backrooms: Stairs to… Nowhere? (and Maybe Everywhere?)
Welcome to the digital uncanny: The Backrooms. This eerie realm includes endless, unsettling office environments. Stairs exist here too, uniquely styled:
- Level 9223372036854775807: An empty staircase that can cause tears if stared at long enough. That’s a charming stair!
- Level 3999 “The True Ending”: This resembles an arcade, perhaps leading to digital scores.
- Level 100000 “Moon View”: With stunning views of moons, it might offer inspiration for wanderers.
- After Level 9223372036854775807: Escape crying void, find expansive miles of emptiness. The Backrooms feel boundless, beyond their levels.
- Level ±1: Rumored longest level where you could climb forever.
- Level ∞: A terminal stretching endlessly, with stairs for endless layovers, a travel nightmare.
- Level -You Cheated: Accessible via hidden doorways for rule-breakers seeking adventure.
Hogwarts Legacy: Staircase Puzzles and Hospital Wings
Returning to structured design, Hogwarts Castle in Hogwarts Legacy features a Grand Staircase. Constantly shifting and full of puzzles, it holds tricky challenges, including a door puzzle with specific settings.
If all that climbing depletes your strength, access the Hospital Wing after completing “The Caretaker’s Lunar Lament” quest. This staircase might lead to healing.
Calculating Your Climb: Stair Design 101 (for Muggles)
If you’re designing real-world stairs without magic, follow these rules:
- The “27 Rule”: Riser height plus tread depth around 27 inches for safety.
- The “7-11 Rule”: Maximum riser height is 7 inches; minimum tread depth is 11 inches, common for residential stairs.
Next time you measure for stairs, remember those rules: 27s and 11s. Unless you have a self-building staircase…and if so, carry on.
Mystery Solved (Sometimes): Puzzles, Boxes, and Cryptic Clues
Stairs serve as more than just paths; they can pose puzzles too! Consider fiendish puzzlers.
One solution to the “impossible box puzzle” is flipping the box upside down and hitting it from the bottom. Who knew brute force solved complex puzzles?
If you enjoy mental exercises, cryptic puzzles provide unique challenges. Use anagram clues, reversals, hidden answer indicators, double definitions, and soundalikes to conquer these wordy limits.
Real-World Staircase Wonders (and Oddities)
Let’s quickly look at notable real-world staircases:
- Devil’s Staircase: Found in Glen Coe, Lochaber, Scotland. The name suggests treacherous climbs.
- Million Dollar Staircase: Known as the Great Western Staircase in the New York State Capitol, Albany. Built from red Scottish sandstone. Did not cost a million dollars, but remains impressive.
- Giant Hand Staircase: In Gulong Canyon, Qingyuan City, China. A staircase within a giant Buddha hand statue. Quite a grand entrance.
- Boca Stair: “BOCA TYPE STRUCTURAL STEEL STAIRWAYS.” Made for safety and convenience. The reliable staircase.
- Spiral Staircase Museum: The Wharton Esherick Museum features a twisting spiral staircase as its main architectural feature. Stairs can be art.
Hidden Spaces and Staircase Secrets
- Room Under the Stairs: This often-neglected area under the stairs? Called a “spandrel” or “cupboard.” Perfect for hidden relics or, if you’re Harry Potter, a cozy bedroom.
- Stair Skirt: The trim piece along the side of the stairs? A “stair skirt,” known as a skirt board or stair stringer. It fills gaps and adds elegance.
Gandalf vs. The Balrog: Stairway to… Zirakzigil?
Back to Middle-earth for a dramatic stair-related battle. Gandalf and the Balrog’s fall was not merely into darkness; it was a journey. They fell into a chasm in Moria and ascended the Endless Stair to Zirakzigil (or Celebdil). Their battle spanned days atop that peak, with Gandalf achieving victory.
Secret Stairs and Treacherous Paths
- Secret Stair into Mordor: Gollum led Frodo and Sam up a secret stair into Mordor. Hidden passage? Check. Questionable guide? Double-check.
- Stairway to Heaven (Closed): Hawaii’s “Stairway to Heaven” (Haiku Stairs) is famous for stunning views but is closed due to vandalism, liability, and safety issues. Some beautiful stairs remain inaccessible.
Joker’s Final Fall (and Possible Rises)
Arthur Fleck’s tale in the Joker universe takes dark turns, with stairs playing symbolic roles. Did you know Arthur meets his end in Arkham Asylum in “Joker: Folie à Deux”? Killed by an inmate, with a smile on his face. A grim staircase to another Joker’s rise?
“Joker 3”? Unlikely, claims director Todd Phillips. But expect surprises in comic book films. Joaquin Phoenix lost 52 pounds for “Joker” on a strict diet. A steep price for art.
Architectural Grandeur and Spiritual Symbolism (and Church Attendance Decline)
Let’s change focus to grand architecture and deeper significance:
- Sagrada Família: This Barcelona basilica has been under construction for over 400 years! A long-term project. Hope they have stair access for workers.
- Catholic Churches and 3 Doors: Those three doors in Catholic churches symbolize the Holy Trinity. Stairs to deeper understanding?
- Church Attendance Decline: Despite grand architecture, church attendance is declining in the US. Perhaps people find spiritual paths elsewhere.
Stairway Superstitions and Theories
- Why Crossing on the Stairs is Bad Luck: Superstition alert! Crossing paths on stairs is seen as bad luck. Origins vary from clumsiness to biblical angelic encounters gone wrong. Better to avoid stair traffic jams.
- The Missing Stair Theory: A metaphorical staircase! The “missing stair theory” describes a problematic person everyone knows but avoids addressing directly. Newcomers get quiet warnings – “watch out for that missing stair.”
Staircase Serials and Real-World Problems
- The Staircase (TV Series) Ending: This true-crime series highlights a key fact: justice and truth often differ. A sober realization at the end of long legal journeys.
- 3 Body Problem (Real vs. Fictional): The “3 Body Problem” isn’t just a Netflix series; it’s a complex physics dilemma. In the show, “Project Staircase” sends Will’s brain into space. From earthly stairs to cosmic staircases, possibilities are infinite.
From mundane to miraculous, real-world creations to fantastical designs, staircases serve more than just transit between floors. They are puzzles, mysteries, metaphors, and sometimes portals to other realms (or at least video game levels). Next time you find a staircase, take time to appreciate the depth within those steps.
